Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
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dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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