listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
