god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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