We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
