We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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