Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
