Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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