Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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