Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
