is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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