I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
