It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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