You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
