Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
