You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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