'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
