Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
