i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
