Well douche your snatch and let's go!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
