SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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