ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
