hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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