You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There's always time for handjobs
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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