So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
