there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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