You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
