LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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