What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
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After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I am available for nakedness
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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