he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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