i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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