I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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