You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
