don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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