Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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