One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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