he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
