I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
