You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
