can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
