she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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