Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
