So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Can Purell be used as lube?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
