the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
