Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
