She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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