...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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