Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
