My room smells like vodka and shame
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just tell him i said nine months
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
