Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
