As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
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Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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