You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
