also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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