matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
