do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
