I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
