Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
