Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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