This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize