I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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