separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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