You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
